RWL025 How to Maintain Work-Life Balance and Resilience During a Pandemic

Gratitude Walk and Family Reflections

Speaker 1

0:00

Hey, there, it's Alex here from the Remote Work Life podcast Trying a slightly different format today, slightly different environment. I don't know how this is going to go down. I don't know what it's going to sound like because I'm actually outside, I'm going for a bit of a walk, getting out of the house. So, as I said, it's quite an unusual podcast format because usually when you're doing a podcast, you're in a studio, you're soundproofing everything, you're trying to make everything as perfect as possible because you're aware that there are listeners who don't necessarily want to have background noise. But I thought it'd be quite nice just to get out, because right now, anyway it's, it's relatively quiet outside anyway. All I can really hear at the moment is the odd car passing by. You might be able to hear a few birds in the background, which can't be bad and, to be honest, when you're living in London, you don't often hear birds singing over the noise of the traffic. Hopefully you can't hear that wind too much. But, like I said, this is just a new format that I'm using just to keep that contact with you because, again, I keep saying it, you probably hear lots of people saying it in these trying times it's important to keep the contact, keep that going, even if, like me, right now you're talking to yourself, or at least you feel like you're talking to yourself, but I know I'm not, because I've got lots of people who are downloading, which is good to see.

Speaker 1

1:38

As I talk now there's a guy passing me by. He's doing a bit of jogging. That's's nice to see, keeping our distance. He's on one side of the road, I'm on the other side of the road. I hope you're keeping your distance. I hope you're staying at home as well.

Speaker 1

1:54

It's been a bit of a challenge, actually, the last week I've got to say to you, because I'm used to working from home but not used to having so many people around me for such a period of time, if you see what I mean, because I've got three children. I love my kids, but it has been really challenging working from home for the last week and a half two weeks balancing everything out. The last week and a half two weeks balancing everything out apart from everything else. Obviously everything is slowing down, uh, in terms of work and business, but that's been a challenge in itself. But obviously when, when you're in this situation, you have to try and keep things ticking over. You can't just stop. You've got to keep momentum going. In a sense, you've got to prepare for what's going to come. You know, three, six months ahead. It may be that you you have to change your plans from what they were a few months ago to what they're likely to be going forward.

Speaker 1

3:00

Um, what I don't want in this podcast is for me to go off on a bit of a tangent. The basis of this podcast is gratitude. Really, that's really what I wanted to focus this podcast on today, but I'm sure I'm going to deviate and sort of digress in different directions as I'm on this walk. Like I said, I hope the sound isn't too bad for you. I hope you can hear me well. Hope that little bit of a breeze that I can hear is not affecting the quality of the sound too much. But yeah, oh, somebody's having a bit of a party there. Can you hear that in the background? Don't blame them, it's so quiet.

Speaker 1

3:39

But I've got to say today is a beautiful day, it's good. It's good in the sense that, like I said, where gratitude is concerned, I'm grateful for so many things, not least the weather. It's nice. Can you imagine if this whole thing had erupted when the winter months started when the nights are cold, the nights are dark. Right now we're in spring, so you can see the green leaves on the trees. You can see birds as flies actually, I saw my first fly of the season buzzing around the house. Grateful for that. It's like I said, it's a sunny day. I might actually get out and cut the grass actually, because, um, my other half has been, has been sort of hinting at me to cut the grass and I, I can see it growing every, every time I go, every time I'm washing my dishes, um, I look out, I peer out into the back garden and I can see the grass growing and, with it being spring and with it the weather warming up, it's almost like the grass is, uh, is growing longer by the day. So it's the constant reminder from the grass, and also from my other half, that it's time to actually go and cut the grass. So, yeah, I'm grateful for that. Actually, I'm grateful for the fact as well that I have a big back garden. So, like I said, we're all locked up in the house for lots of the time, lots of time during the day, but fortunately I've got a big back garden. So, like I said, we're all locked up in the house for lots of the time, lots of time during the day, but fortunately I've got a big enough back garden where my kids can go and run around.

Speaker 1

5:14

Um, we had a trampoline actually oh, there's another car coming past um, we had a trampoline last summer, which, no, in fact, the trampoline lasted us years. It probably lasted about three or four years. It packed in just the other day, you know, just before the. You know, remember, when we had that stormy, windy weather, it got blown all over the garden, it got banged and bashed. So we knew that was the point at which we have had to invest in a new one. But we haven't done that just yet. But, um, now is the time to do that because, like I said, I've got a big back garden. I'm really pretty happy about that because the kids can work up a bit of a sweat as much as we're, like I said, in the house for good periods of time. They have the option of going out and I'm really lucky to have such a big back garden in a city like london. In fact, my garden is actually one of the biggest on the street, so that's really nice, it's really good. But, yeah, we're going to probably order another trampoline for the kids to get out, because I've been speaking to my kids quite a lot over this time and I think if, obviously if you have kids, I'd recommend that you do the same, asking them how they're feeling.

Speaker 1

6:26

Even my five-year-old, who she's sometimes reluctant to go to school, she's been saying to me that she misses her friends, and I think that's what, at that age particularly. Oh, there's some geese. I love the sound of geese. You know how they fly in a V formation. There they are.

Speaker 1

6:46

Sorry, I told you I'd digress from time to time, but yeah, um, you know how well my, my little girl, she, um, she's pretty good at school. I've got to say she does get her head down. Like me, she doesn't like necessarily going to school. That was the same with me, actually. I didn't like going to school but I knew that I had to get it done and she's of a similar, a similar mindset to that. She just goes and gets it done. She often comes home saying that she's bored. That's often a sign that it's not stretching her that much and she's, she's doing pretty well in school.

Speaker 1

7:20

But, speaking to the other day, she was saying she was saying that she misses her friends, and that really broke my heart because you know, um, at that age, at five, that's what school is all about, really, isn't it? It's all about friends and playing and you know, all of, just, all of a sudden, that's been taken away from us. You can't do that anymore, at the moment at least anyway. But, like I said, it's not going to be for the well, it's at least for the foreseeable future, but it's not going to be forever. So, like I said, having that garden just allows them, my kids, to play.

Speaker 1

8:00

And another thing I'm grateful for is the fact that they all get on pretty well, my kids. I insist that they do. I have, from the start, I insisted that you know they all look out for each other because, um, if you can't look out for your brothers and sisters, then who will you look out for? Um, I, I went through my trials and tribulations at school and got on really well with my sister, and that's kind of trickled down to me. I think it's really important. I'm really grateful that they get on. My son is eight years old, going on nine, but he still plays. They still play together, which is really good to see, and it's really good to see them getting on. Don't get me wrong. They have their, have their moments, as all children do, but for the most part, they've been really getting on and I'm grateful for that, really, really grateful for that.

Speaker 1

9:01

One thing I'm trying to think about actually, maybe you might be able to help me with this so I've got three children. I've got, like I said, a five-year-old. I've got an eight-year-old. One thing I'm trying to think about actually, maybe you might be able to help me with this so I've got three children, I've got, like I said, a five-year-old. I've got an eight-year-old who's turning. Well, yeah, an eight-year-old and a 15-year-old.

Speaker 1

9:16

All of them are coming of age. They're all having their birthdays in April. So they're all you can imagine. It's a very expensive month for me, april, because they all have their birthdays. Obviously, when they were smaller, we all just had one or probably two cakes which they shared, but obviously now, especially the 15-year-old who's turning 16, is going to want her own cake. She's probably, you know, I'm sure she would want it to have a party, but that 16 is going to want her own cake. She's probably, you know, I'm sure she wanted to have a party, but that's not going to happen now? Um, so we're trying to find, or at least learn about, different ways in which we can entertain them and make the birthday special. Obviously, us being there makes it special. You, you would have thought, but you know, children, they want a little bit more, don't they? So want to make it as special as possible for them.

Resilience Amidst Isolation

Speaker 1

10:12

I was thinking I don't know what you think about this idea, but I was thinking of having some sort of like video Zoom or Skype party, okay, if you see what I mean or at least getting getting their friends up on video just to say happy birthday to them, you know, and just to connect. Because I know, like I said, it's important to to speak to your children. I know that the biggest thing that's impacting them is the fact that they can't play with their friends or see their friends, and you can just see. I just really feel for them. It's. It's like I said, they don't really complain. That's another thing about my kids. I'm really grateful. They're really pretty resilient.

Speaker 1

10:55

Children are pretty resilient in general, aren't they? But you can just see those moments where they just kind of go within themselves as another car passes by, another van delivering something, no doubt with his mask on in his car. Um, they're pretty resilient really, um, but there's those moments, as I said, where they go within themselves and you, those are the moments where I, just, on my other half, we just speak to them and say what's on your mind, what are you okay, what's what? We try and get to the bottom of what's going on and you just know, as much as sometimes, especially from the smaller ones, as much as, um, as much as you don't always get to the bottom of it, you know it's because of that isolation. In fact, my, just before this whole coronavirus pandemic, um, sort of took hold.

Speaker 1

11:56

Oh, there's a beautiful cat here I love cats, lovely tortoiseshell cat as I pass by, um, yeah, just before this whole pandemic took hold, yeah, just before this whole pandemic took hold, my sister, she actually took her kids out of the school. Nothing to do with the pandemic at all. She took her kids out of the school because she decided that she wanted to homeschool them. And gosh, that's. Another thing I'm grateful for is that I have a really strong sister, really strong sister, really strong sister. Um, I respect her so much and also I admire what she does and often, oh no, it's getting windy, I hope it's not too windy for you here. I'm just going to try in a minute, I'm going to try and divert around the corner so you don't have to hear anything too windy when I come to produce this podcast. But yeah, um, she, I remember something she told me when she started to, when she first started to take her kids out of school to homeschool them.

Speaker 1

12:58

Um, she said to me that one of the things that they repeatedly said, or kind of some of the feelings that they repeatedly had, was around missing. It was around that connection and communication with their friends. They really missed their friends. They really really missed their friends and that, above all, was was the main issue that they had. And, as, um, this whole pandemic has got taken hold and we've had to homeschool our children. Those sorts of lessons that taught to me by my sister about her kids and their homeschooling kind of hit home with me. When, you know, when my little kids are having a bit of a temper tantrum or in a bad mood or not wanting to focus on their work, it's helped me to really help me to uh, be more understanding, um, towards them because, of course, like I said, they're missing. They're missing the things that they normally have.

Speaker 1

14:04

So, yeah, but, um, like I said, I'm there's much to be grateful for this. I mean, I've spoke to a couple of my friends. Actually, one of my friends actually has coronavirus, um, and that really obviously made me worry because he's my best friend and I care about him. We went to university together, he's always been there for me but he's like as fit as a fiddle. So I was just wondering to myself how did somebody like him get coronavirus? But of course you know it doesn't discriminate, does it? Anybody can get coronavirus. It's just it appears in different ways and guises and forms in different people, so anybody can get coronavirus.

Speaker 1

14:55

So those questions that were going through my mind were just probably not, um, not really sensible questions because anybody can get it, like I said so, but I'm just grateful that again, that I'm in a situation where I can isolate myself, isolate my kids. We've got a house. That's that's, um, that's big enough, I guess, to. If the worst did come to the worst because my other half, she's a nurse if the worst did come to the worst, then we'd be able to keep separate from each other. Um, it's not the same for my, my friend, he, his house. It's quite small and he lives with his mom. His mom's not well, so it's been very difficult for him to to keep that isolation from other people. But yeah, it's just goes to show.

Speaker 1

15:47

I mean, you've got to keep careful, you've got to stay at home. Please stay at home. If you must go out, just maybe just do a bit of exercise, like I am at the minute, just to get out and about. It's important to get a bit of fresh air. It's important just to keep exercise going, just to keep exercise going.

Speaker 1

16:11

And in fact, a previous podcast I did, I talked about because we all talk about and rightly so, we all talk about the the mental consequences of working from home and these, those mental consequences are being highlighted now because of this, uh, highlighted now because of this enforcement in many ways by the government to keep us at home and suggest that we work at home. Sorry about the helicopter in without helicopter, I think, yeah, it is a helicopter and there's a siren for you. Um, yeah, it's, it's uh, those, um, mental consequences are very much being highlighted and, in fact, emphasized a lot more. This is really not what working from home and remote work is all about, but yeah, we talk about the mental consequences of working from home and remote work, and those, as I said, should be talked about so that people can understand and recognize the symptoms and know what to do about them. But the physical consequences we don't talk about enough, and I'm grateful that I've been able to speak to a number of CEOs, practitioners, experts, thought leaders, you name it over the past few years actually, and those conversations have enabled me to really learn what to do, what not to do, where not just the mental symptoms rear their head but also the physical as well, because the physical consequences we don't speak about.

Speaker 1

18:01

I'm just about to walk next to a dual carriageway, so it's going to get a bit louder, a little bit noisier. I hope you can still hear me. I won't be here for that long, so I'm going to turn a corner in a second so that the noise will abate pretty soon. But, um, yeah, the physical consequences we don't talk about them enough. So you know, if you're sitting down for too long during the day, it could play havoc. You can wreak havoc with havoc with your body, your muscles can start to contract, you put weight on your lower back, which has all sorts of consequences, affects your comfort affects your physical health, and then, when that affects your physical health, and then when, when that affects your physical health, you really notice it, you start to pay attention to the, to the pain or the, the dull pain that you feel in your back or your legs, or the, the tightening of your muscles or whatever it may be, and then that can have a bird that can burden you mentally and have you feel the mental consequences after that. Because that I mean.

Speaker 1

19:10

The reason I'm saying that's because that has happened to me in the past. When I first started to work from home, the furniture that I had the chair, the table was not sufficient to, you know, to set up a home office. It just didn't work. It wasn't comfortable. I suffered the physical consequences of working from home because I didn't have the discipline, I didn't have the know-how, I guess, in many ways, what to do, how to sit, the exercises and stretches to do, etc. Etc. But now I do so I'm much better for it. So there are physical consequences if you don't know um, if you don't know what to do.

Speaker 1

19:52

And I'd actually recommend that you listen to the traveling ergonomic ergonomic I can't say the word, I'm so sorry. Ergonomist the traveling ergonomist podcast because she talks about how to sit. You know how to sort of adjust your desk, your computer, your screen, etc. But you know, sitting is not, is not the main. I suppose sitting in itself can can have consequences. So it's not just about sitting, of course, and I think I mean I haven't listened to all her podcasts but I think she goes into sit, standing, sitting and standing, because obviously standing for a period of time can actually help you with those pains and aches that I mentioned to you before, and it's so important not to sit all day because that can just really, as I said, it can wreak havoc on your physical state. So so, yeah, get out and about.

Speaker 1

20:53

I don't want you to suffer the same consequences I suffered. I mean, I do have an underlying condition, actually a chronic lower back condition, which I have under control and it's not it's nowhere near as painful as it used to be. That started back in 2009, I think it was. I just didn't know what it was, I didn't know how to deal with it, didn't have the money to to deal with it. I mean, lots of people, they would go to a chiropractor. But I did a lot of research, I asked a lot of questions. I spoke to lots of different people and eventually I got to grips with it. So, like I said, I don't want you to suffer the same consequences as I did.

Speaker 1

21:31

Another thing I'd say as well um, lots of people and this is actually the final thing I'm going to talk about in terms of my gratitude but everybody's suffering at the minute in terms of business, jobs, etc. There's lots going on, lots of people losing their jobs, lots of people being made redundant, businesses are having to shut up. In some cases, businesses are losing clients and contracts and projects. That's me, I mean. I've been losing well, not losing, but there's a dramatic decline in the projects that I expected in my pipeline for the foreseeable future. But I'm grateful for the fact that I guess I know what to do, in the sense that my background is also um recruitment and career coaching. So I know that what I have have to do, what I have I'm doing, is really, in some ways, adjusting my offer, uh, pivoting I suppose some people are doing that as well only slightly in my case to highlight the things that I can do to help in this particular scenario, and that is um outplacement coaching, helping people who have either lost their jobs or are under the threat of being made redundant.

Speaker 1

23:04

Now, the way I did that was just by really thinking about the current problems that are going on, and this if you, if you're in a situation yourself where your, your pipeline is dwindling. I'd urge you to do that. I'd urge you to look at the problems around you at the moment that businesses are struggling with or employers are struggling with, and think about how you can be part of solving those problems. Think about what you can do to solve the problems. Don't just position yourself as a marketing manager, a marketing director or whatever it may be. Be explicit about how you solve a problem. I mean, for me, it's all about if you've lost your job or been made redundant.

Speaker 1

23:55

There's that sense where you're losing, you're losing focus. I guess you're probably looking within yourself, and that's understandable, because so there is a, there is a stress there, I guess, which can really impact on your, your ability to really understand what you need to do next. So you're probably losing focus. I can help you to refocus, I can help you to redirect, I can support you as much as possible as well in the decisions that you make, or or help you to make decisions. I'm not going to make decisions for you, but I can direct you in the right path. So those are all things I mean, which I don't want to talk about in detail today, but things that are important. So it's all about refocusing on how I can help solve problems. As I said, I'm not going to go into details about that today because this podcast is not about me necessarily.

Speaker 1

25:02

One thing I would say is all of this is to say that you know, try and think about what you're grateful for. In the midst of all this chaos and confusion and job loss and turmoil, I suppose you could say there are things to be grateful for. It's just about really sitting down and thinking and being empathetic and understanding, understanding that I think this is affecting everybody. Everybody's, in some shape or form, is going through struggles at this moment. It's just about really trying to sort of, I guess, put those to one side for a moment and think about what you have to be grateful for and let me know. Um, get in touch with me. I'll leave my details in the show notes, as ever, and I would urge you as well to connect with me on linkedin. Oops, somebody's car alarm's going off there. Sorry about that. Um, I'd urge you to connect with me on linkedin because I am releasing 30 video interviews, video podcast interviews that I did with some of the leading remote work from home CEOs in the world.

Speaker 1

26:27

These are experts, obviously thought leaders in the world of remote work. They know what they're talking about, they know how to communicate, they know the gadgets and tech to use, they understand how to focus their mindset in the right way to thrive while working from home, and I think by listening to them, you can learn something as well. And the reason I know that is because, like I said to you previously, I've learned a lot myself from listening to these very same people. Now I'm giving you the opportunity to listen to them yourself, to learn from them yourself, so that in some way, shape or form, it can help you. You might even only get one, one little smidgen of information from these uh, these uh video podcasts, but one piece of information that could potentially change, change your thinking, change your life for the better. I know I don't say that lightly, because for these lessons that I've learned from them myself, these informational interviews that I did with them, are, I asked some questions that you should be asking if you're either setting up a business for yourself or setting yourself up to be working from home. So it's really important that you listen and look out for these interviews.

Speaker 1

27:46

I'll be posting snippets of the interviews on LinkedIn and the entire interviews. Some of them are anywhere between 3, 30 and 60 minutes. I'll be posting the entire interviews on my website, remoteworklifeio, so you'll be able to access them there, and I'll be releasing them over the course of 30 days, not 30 consecutive days, but I'll be releasing them over the course of 30 days. If you follow me on linkedin, you will see them, but I'll be releasing them over the course of 30 days. If you follow me on linkedin, you will see them, because I will be using the hashtag remote but together, to inform you when I release each one of these interviews. So follow that hashtag, follow me on linkedin, connect with me on linkedin and that's the way to keep up to date.

Speaker 1

28:37

And, like I said, go across to remoteworklifeio to see what I've uploaded so far. I've got Nick Francis, who's the CEO of Help Scout, talking about remote culture how to thrive in a remote culture. I've got Darcy Bow of tax jar um. She talks about hiring what remote leaders expect when they are hiring, so that'll give you a bit of an insight, that'll give you a peep around the curtain as to what's expected of you when you're making your applications. I got michelle dale, who set up her own virtual assisting business. She's a seven figure ceo, seven figure virtual assistant. She now runs a virtual an academy for virtual assistants. She also does business consulting as well. So that's just like a a real sort of. That's the tip of the iceberg in terms of the interviews that I have coming for you.

Connecting Through Remote Work Life

Speaker 1

29:36

So, as I said, I'd urge you to go to remote work life dot io and have a look.

Speaker 1

29:43

I will leave a link to the website in the show notes. I will leave a link to my linkedin profile in the show notes so you can connect with me. Um, even if you don't want to listen to the interviews, connect with me anyway. Just say hello. If you have any questions, any comments about the podcast or about remote work, let me know via LinkedIn. And if you have any ideas for guests or you'd like to sort of recommend a guest for the remote work life podcast, then let me know and I'll do my best to try and get them on the show and answer the questions that you may have. But I'm about to walk home because I'm going to have a bit of lunch. Maybe I'll do this again, I don't know. It depends how this, the whole sound for this thing, comes out. But I wish you all the best, um, as ever, and I will speak to you again on the Remote Work Life podcast. Again, all the best. Speak to you soon.