RWL005 How Positive Psychology Can Revolutionize Your Remote Work Life with Andy Cope

Positive Psychology in Remote Work Life

Speaker 1

0:00

Hey, it's Alex, again from Remote Work Life. How are you doing Today? I want to start by asking you a question how are you feeling? How are you feeling today? How have you been feeling over the last? What week, month, year? Are things going the way that you want? Are you enjoying where you're at at the moment, the stage in your life that you're at at the moment?

Speaker 1

0:24

I know I'm at a point in my life now where I'm a lot happier than I used to be, that's for sure. And right now it's a lovely spring day, the blossom on the trees is coming out, so that's a sign that the weather's getting warmer, the days are getting longer and sunnier, and that that all adds to a lovely sort of uh, a lovely time of year, shall we say. But I know that sometimes there's certain things that may affect your mood. So, for example, I don't know the long days, sorry, or the shorter days. So I live in london, so it can get quite dark quite quickly during the winter months and the autumn months. For one thing, it can get cold as well, so that that on top of the darkness can can have a real sort of uh, debilitating effect. If you're that, you know, if you're the kind of person who's more used to brighter, um sunny and warmer weather, it can get pretty rainy and sort of windy at times, so that that, as I said, it all adds up to sometimes it may making you feel that bit more negative with your thoughts. And that's not to say that I don't have negative thoughts myself. From time to time. There's, there's certain things that can trigger those feelings, those thoughts in your mind, in my mind, and a few years ago those negative feelings used to perhaps prevail a lot more than they do now, because I feel like I'm in a place where I understand myself, I know what my goals are, I know what I want to fulfil, I'm in a position where me and my family are stable. We're quite lucky, we have a lovely house in London and, yeah, life's good, I can't complain.

Speaker 1

2:18

But that may not be the same for you and I today have got a really special guest. His name is Andy Cope and he was somebody I interviewed during another summit that I actually published a couple of years ago. It was called the Careers with Purpose Summit, and the whole aim of remote work life, if you don't already know, is to really help you, to help you with your remote career. It can get lonely from time to time. It can get difficult when you're on your own. It can get difficult when perhaps you don't have an immediate support network. It can be difficult if you don't have a community or a mentor to call upon. So I want to help you in whatever way I can. I want to build a community actually as well, to help you with any sort of problems or challenges that you may be having, and the Remote Work Life podcast is just one element of that whole thing. So, as I said, one way in which I'm doing that is I've interviewed a number of people over the years and now I want to share those people with you. So it'll be a mixture of CEOs, leaders, thought leaders, coaches, even people who have got, have had, successful careers or helped people to get successful careers, and I'll share those with you. So, so there'll be remote CEOs as well, so people who own remote businesses, people who own successful, legitimate remote businesses in there as well.

Speaker 1

3:52

So today's interview with Andy Cope is all to do with that idea of having more positive feelings, more positive thoughts, because he is a PhD in positive psychology and he's the founder of the Art of Brilliance, which is a consultancy which helps everyday people, it helps businesses, it helps schools, in fact as well, to really think more positively. And it's really important that you know we try to focus on things that are positive, especially when we're working remotely, because there are so many things that can lead us to perhaps, I suppose, diverting our thoughts into negativity. So I think Andy's session today is really important, and in the session today he talks about the origins of our negative thoughts and why job satisfaction won't make us happy and what you need to do instead. There's a number of other things he talks about as well. He talks about how you can actually retrain your brain to be more positive, and that's really important because, as I said, working alone, working in isolation, often especially if you're a freelancer, a person, a business of one, maybe if you don't have a team, it can be all the more important for you to have or to be able to understand where, where your negative thoughts originate and how to deal with them. So I hope you enjoy this interview with Andy Cope, the founder of the Art of Brilliance, and I will see you on the other side, so really excited today. Good morning everybody, good afternoon, wherever you may be in the world, excited to be joined by Andy Cope.

The Power of Positive Psychology

Speaker 1

5:44

Andy is a happiness expert. He is also an author as well. He completed his PhD in positive psychology at Loughborough University. Essentially, that's around happiness and well-being, and we've all been in a situation at work, at home, where we perhaps feel down low, all these sorts of feelings. And Andy, he's the guy who has a business called the Art of Brilliance which does training workshops across the world for people across the world in how to be their best selves. So really excited to be here today with you, andy. Thanks so much for joining us. As I said, andy today is going to talk to us about various things, including how to stay positive in work and in life so that you can really sort of be in the best possible position and be the best possible person you can be in order to, I suppose, fulfill that purpose that is within you. So, andy, thank you. Tell us a bit about you.

Speaker 2

6:52

That's spot on your happy, smiley face makes me happy. So that's good, isn't it? That's a good start and, yeah, happiness obviously is contagious. All the uh, all viewers, listeners know that anyway. And so, basically, what I did about 11 years ago now it's been quite a long PhD process, but what I did was I studied psychology back in the day at uni, when psychology was about ill people. So I read big, thick textbooks crammed full of people with problems. So I learned about phobias, disorders, depression, all the usual stuff. It's really interesting and very useful, but I knew there was something missing and it wasn't.

Speaker 2

7:25

Until 2005 I enrolled on a PhD at Loughborough and I decided to look at positive psychology, which is so. That's the study of wellness. It's a study of people who are already happy and I thought, well, how have we missed that? For so long? We spent all these resources and all these years looking at depression and downbeatedness and it's about well, what can we learn from happy people? So that really sparked my interest. So I threw myself into a PhD. And then the art of being brilliant, which is the sort of flagship workshops, keynotes, as you said. We deliver them all over the place and they came out of. Really it's the PhD, but without the big words.

Speaker 1

8:04

Just like what, but without the big words. Just like what have you? What do you really learn about? Happiness. That's what I want to share with, uh, with your folks. Well, that's great and it's like you said it's the. It's the flip side, isn't? It's the? The glass half full? Yeah, yeah, yes. Well, who are those people?

Speaker 2

8:11

if I ask you to count the number of negative people in your life, you you could list me a whole. You can write me a list of 100 people. If I ask you to list the, the people who, when they're around, they make you feel fantastic, what is it? You know, and you can probably count them on the fingers of one hand the people in your life who are genuinely upbeat and positive to the point whereby it leaks out of them and you get infected with it as well. They're really good people to have around I call it?

Speaker 2

8:34

I call it flourishing. So I mean a bit of a technical point, but I've not really been studying happiness. I've been studying those people in the workforce, who, who make other people feel good as well. So, yes, they are happy in their own skin and they do feel great, but they also make other people feel great as well and that is flourishing and that is a step above happiness, I think, because it's contagious, excellent, and you've worked with none other than likes of ikea, astrazeneca.

Speaker 2

8:57

Yeah, yeah, we work with a lot of big, big companies and, like you said, you alluded to in your interview, all over the world. Now the get this, the brits and our exporting happiness. Who would have ever thought that? Who would believe it as a nation? Because that's an important point actually, as a nation we're quite the british. I know you've got an international audience, but the british are quite negative and a little bit downbeat. We're quite quite glass half empty as a nation. We like to have a moan, we like to have a grumble. Yeah, the news is bad, the weather's bad, work pressures are harsh and and the cultural disposition, unless you're very careful, is you get sucked into that. You become just a little bit mediocre, your life becomes a little bit dull and a little bit samey. So, um, I don't?

Speaker 2

9:37

you know? The average lifespan is about 4 000 weeks and that terrifies me. I mean, you're just a young lad, I'm nearly 50 mate, I've used half of mine and what I want to do is make sure that we come alive, that we're not like the land of the living dead, that it's. We're part of that small minority who are buzzing, enthusiastic and upbeat as much as we can be. I mean, the modern world doesn't dictate. We can be like that all the time, but you can change your mental habits and get yourself in a more, in a better place.

Speaker 1

10:02

Basically, absolutely well, I'm pushing 40 so that there's comes that point. Well, you're looking good.

Speaker 2

10:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, yeah, there comes that point in life where you start kind of, oh, it's not going to go on forever, you know, have you seen six cents, mate? Have you seen bruce willis? I have. Yes, it's a movie. If a movie, if your listeners and your viewers haven't seen it, you need to rent that movie and watch it twice to understand it. But it's a quirky movie. I don't want to give it away, but there's a. Really it's quite creepy. But there's this great line where this little lad looks at Bruce Willis and he says I see dead people.

Speaker 1

10:33

Yeah, I remember that.

Finding Purpose and Engagement at Work

Speaker 2

10:34

And I see them all the time mate monday mornings you see them all the time going into work on the tube or in the traffic there's a pulse but yeah, well, I did as well, I did, I did as well. And that's the, and I guess a lot of people, a lot of people are like that. Their life can just become a little bit mundane, and it's about rattling the cage or your whole kind of podcast and thing is about come on, let's wake up how did we get to this point, though, andy?

Speaker 1

10:56

do you think I mean that negativity that we talked about? How, yeah, how do we come to that?

Speaker 2

11:00

well, it's just a part of you I mean without kind of boring you to death, but part of your. Your mental habits is as we've evolved. We've evolved through negativity. So back in the day, when life was really scary and the world was very harsh and you've been chased by saber-toothed tigers, we learned to look out for danger. So your brain, you, there's two things you want to do you want to survive and you want to pass your genes on. That's basically what we're driven by and you never get.

Speaker 2

11:24

If you so, back in the day, you go well, let's not go in that cave, it's dangerous, let's not eat that funny colored mushroom. It looks, it looks really dangerous. But all the happy people back in the day, they were going oh, cave, fantastic, let's get in there. Oh, cheeky little mushroom, I'll have that for breakfast. And they all died. They died, mate. All the happy, positive ones got killed off and therefore I mean, I'm trying to say it in a funny way, but what that means is our brains are seeking danger and negativity all the time because it saves your life and happiness doesn't save your life and therefore your brain is less tuned in after happy life. So you've got to work a little bit harder to see the happiness. You've got to work harder to wake up. It's easy to go through life looking for danger and having the negative self-talk.

Speaker 1

12:08

And there's lots of research that I've looked at which says around about 20% of people only 20% around that area are happy at work.

Speaker 2

12:15

Yeah, well, I mean, once again, that goes to the heart of the PhD. I only get a chance to talk at this level actually because quite often I do a workshop and I'll skim over the surface and try and be funny. But actually I'd say we've always looked at job satisfaction and job satisfaction. If you listen to what satisfaction means, we've measured job satisfaction. Satisfaction is just yeah, I'm okay, I'm satisfied. But I'm looking at what I call job engagement, worker engagement. And engagement is much more vigorous, it's much more motivated. If I'm engaged in something, I'm much more willing to go the extra mile. I'm much more willing to want to turn up to work with a smile on my face and take people with me and make my customers go wow. So actually I've been looking at the difference between job satisfaction, which is like okay, and job engagement, which is wowza.

Speaker 2

13:01

You've hit on a really big thing there. You reckon there's 20% that are happy. There's 20% that, therefore, are satisfied, but there's only about, I would say, maximum of 10%, possibly even only 2%, who are genuinely engaged, and that is full of vigor, energy, verb, vivacity, passion, whatever you want to call it, and I'll give you more stats. At the other end of the spectrum. There's a survey, I think it's 2014, 43% of people are actively disengaged. So I'm saying there's only 2% who turn up like wowzer, but there's 43% that don't want to be there at all and there's 22% that feel really unsupported at work. So they're just going through the motions. They're coming alive when they get home. They're not coming alive when they get to work and modern organizations we've got to find a way of tapping.

Speaker 1

13:47

What a waste of a resource?

Speaker 2

13:48

Absolutely. You've got half your workforce that's turning up and they don't even want to be there. Then what are we going to do with them? How can we get them so? They're not. You know, dead people as well.

Speaker 1

13:59

And then, because, again, I've been so, I do my own research for the last couple of years because, as I said, I used to be at a point myself where I was at really low ebb. So, with that in mind, and for me personally, what turned it around for me was finding my own purpose, finding something that I could really be engaged in. So is there, therefore, a correlation with purpose? And? And well, yeah, there is really.

Speaker 2

14:23

I mean we could talk about purpose in lots of ways. I mean you could talk about purpose in terms of religion. I mean there's um, not my research, but there's lots of research that says religious people, if you've got a belief, whatever your god is, you are statistically likely to be happier simply because you've got this higher thing that you've got you know. So that gives people purpose. In terms of the workplace. You can link purpose to things like setting goals. So what? What my research shows is that goal setting and I'm talking about huge goals, not smart, object don't, but I'm not going to bore you with smart.

Speaker 2

14:54

They're normally falling asleep after that acronym because it's if you want to be like everybody else in the business and set yourself and your team a smart objective, you know, achievable and realistic. So basically, smart says let's do what we did last year, but two percent better. Well, what really? That's not going to inspire anybody. Your purpose if you want a real purpose, you want a rocking team. Then you set what I call a hug, a huge, unbelievably great goal. You set something for yourself or your team that is on the edges of achievability. It's almost like out there, that is. We're only ever going to achieve that if we're all at our best, as much as possible. And a hug can be anything. It doesn't have to be work, run a marathon to write a book, to be the best mum in the world, to be the best team in the world. And a hug if you articulate it correctly and you get it embedded in your life, gives you a purpose. It gives you a drive and an enthusiasm and a set of a vigor, if you like. We're back to that engagement word and that vigor that most people haven't got.

Speaker 2

15:48

Most people's aim, mate, is to get through the week. Yeah, it's to survive to the next holiday. Almost accidentally, counting their lives away, I've said you've got 4 000 weeks. Why the hell would we be trying to away? You know you might have a holiday booked in three weeks and somebody says how are you? Only three weeks to go and think about. What you're saying to yourself subconsciously is just got to get these three weeks out of the way. I'll be happy when these three weeks are gone. We haven't got enough weeks left on this planet to be counting them down, wishing them away. And the truth is, the reality is a lot of people live their life like that, and so goal setting, I think, in the workplace is a really smart way. Or particularly hugs, as a guy called Kim Cameron, dr Kim Cameron. He talks about Everest goals, and an Everest goal is a massive, big thing you want to achieve, and Everest has been conquered, so it is achievable, but not by many. So he's setting your stall out to achieve things that are really, really big and knee-shakingly exciting.

Speaker 2

16:42

And the other one, while we're on purpose, is the people. In my research, one of the big drivers of happy, positive people is they have that sense of making a difference at work, and I think the modern world we've almost had that bashed out of us, even occupations where you think there needs to be a genuine need to care. So, like care workers and, um, so you'd read in the news all the time. You know I've got 15 minutes. So social workers, care workers, we've got 15 minute appointment, right. And it's like well, dress that wound that's eight minutes. Wipe somebody's bottom that's two minutes. Get an old person dressed that's six minutes. Bang, I'm out the door because it's all like I've got to do it as quickly as possible and yeah, and, and what happens is that person.

Speaker 2

17:26

It's bad for the person on the receiving end of the care because they're seeing somebody and it's just a whirlwind and then they're out the door again. There's no time for a human connection. But it's also very bad for the person delivering the care, because what that efficiency saving is telling that person is, we don't really care about the quality, just get it done and bang on to the next person and therefore it kills our sense of making a difference. Even in professions that you have to care and you have to make a difference, you have to have a purpose, they're having their purpose squeezed out of them. That was my point and, um, I think it's uh, yeah, well, for most people.

Speaker 2

17:58

Here's one of the things that we use in the workshop is for most people, most people living life. The things that we use in the workshop is for most people, most people living life fast. But are we living it well? And I think that goes to the heart of the modern world is your 4 000 weeks are zipping by in a blur and I think this and our workshops and our books are all about wrestling that power in our heads. And what can we learn from positive, happy people that we can all put into practice?

Speaker 1

18:22

and then how and I don't know if there's something that you can talk, talk to, but how can we align who we are with the work that we do and really go about finding a culture that that that suits? Yeah, it's an interesting question, mate.

Speaker 2

18:37

Um um, you might be lucky mean. I don't know how many people are speaking on your podcast, but they'll all be saying the same thing. If you can find a career that is your passion and is your purpose and place your strengths, then it's never really doing a day's work in your life. And there's a famous quote by somebody who ran those lines Some people I met, a lot of people who were stuck. They were doing the same job before I done the same job before. I met a guy in a local authority public sector and he said oh, I've worked here 39 years, I've not had a good day yet.

Speaker 1

19:06

Oh no, yeah, I was like well why did?

Speaker 2

19:07

why didn't you leave? Maybe after two years, and he's not going to get those 39 years back. And there's a lot of people like that who have never find their purpose, they never have a goal and they're just kind of going through life, looking to put our happiness off for retirement. And I think it's a really good question how on earth do we do we find that? I think if you wait around for the perfect job with the perfect boss and the perfect, it's never going to happen, right? Or you'll be very lucky if it does happen. You've got to seek it out and I think it's what I call.

Speaker 2

19:34

I call it life crafting, and life crafting is if you look at happy, positive people, then they will do a job, they will throw themselves into it and if they're genuinely not making a difference and they're not happy, they will actually leave. And I know that sounds obvious, but a lot of people that guy I've been here 39 years. He didn't leave. He didn't do that. It's obvious, but he didn't do it. So I call it life crafting, and life crafting is when you continually search for your mojo in life. What is it? If it's not the right fit for me, then I'm going to go and find somewhere else and I'm going to experiment with it. So it's about quit waiting for the right moment and the right thing. So try and create it yourself by being your best self, and if it doesn't happen, then do some life crafting and move on, move forward, and it's quite a brave thing to do. That is sometimes, but you've done it, I've done it, it's doable. We meet people all the time who have taken charge, take personal responsibility really we're talking about.

Speaker 1

20:35

yeah, I think a lot of people tend, in my experience in recruitment, tend to, uh, perhaps look to finding a job that, rather than crafting a life, they, they want to pay the bills, so that's, that's their priority, isn't it? You know, sure, and that is a part.

Speaker 2

20:46

I mean, I'm not saying jack your job in if you're not happy, but you know. But, um, I mean there's these three things I can't remember the name a, a job, a career or a calling. If you've got a job, you'll feel it in the pit of your stomach because when the alarm goes every day, it's just a means to paying the bills. A career is a bit more than that. You feel a bit invested in your future. You feel like you're getting somewhere, but still you're doing it for the salary.

Speaker 2

21:06

A calling is when whisper it, I wouldn't tell the boss but I would have done it for free, because you know what I'm just having such a good time. And it's that if you can manufacture in your life that sense of calling and it links in with all the stuff that you talked about earlier about purpose and about doing what you love, doing plenty of strengths, setting huge goals and that's your calling. And your calling is when work doesn't feel like work and we all hit those days sometimes. But it's about what? If you could craft, craft the next 30 years of your career, creating opportunities for yourself where work doesn't feel like work, then that's the jackpot, mate and you were talking about that guy who'd been in a situation of work for 39 years.

Speaker 1

21:43

That's well, that's not unusual. I mean, my mom's generation were that. You know that kind of uh work was just put up with it, you put up with it and it's.

Choosing Happiness at Work

Speaker 2

21:51

You know. But I think there's no. You know you spend 30% of your entire life Is spent at work, another 30% to sleep. If you start adding up, you know that's a lot of time gone, absolutely. You start panicking.

Speaker 1

22:01

I've only got 40% left, you know, so you can't waste that 30% by going through the motions and the drudgery Of, like the zombies do and that judgery can really sort of impact you in the sense that you might become one of those people who are perhaps moody, disaffected by what you're doing. I think you call it the mood.

Speaker 2

22:25

I call the mood. I used to be a mood over man. I used to be a, I was fine. Mood hoovers aren't horrible and it's not a depression, it's just low level moaning. Get stuck in grumble mode. You know how are you? Well, I'm not too bad, considering I'll be right at five o'clock, got a whole language about slightly down, down, down sort of language. Um, and I think mood hoovers it's a habit, it's a habit of thinking and it's because it's culturally normal. Everybody else is moaning. Then we want to be a social animal, we want to fit in. So, without even really knowing it, we just fit into the cultural norm and therefore these happy people that I've been investigating are it's quite brave, because you've got to be prepared to stand out, not ridiculous not like look at me, I'm happy because somebody's going to punch your lights out.

Speaker 2

23:09

That's not a perfect on a monday morning, but it is about raising your game. I can't, I can't. What I figured is everywhere I go, I'm there. That sounds a bit odd, but everywhere I I don't I mean standing at a queue in the supermarket and I'm like blimey, it's me again I'm here I'm going home with my kids oh, it's me again.

Speaker 2

23:26

I'm the only constant factor in all those situations, so all I can do is work on me. But if I can get me right and I can be the best version of me that I possibly can be, then everybody benefits in all those situations. Even the supermarket benefits, because I'm if I'm feeling good, people around me are going to catch that, but if I'm feeling bad, then they're going to catch that as well. So we're, as human beings, we're very contagious. Our happiness and our it reaches three degrees of people removed from us. So it it has, um, uh, well, it is a contagion. Yeah, I guess the question is you know, what do you want to infect people with in the nicest possible way?

Speaker 1

24:04

and when you were in that that state yourself. That's a mood hoover state. What were the habits?

Speaker 2

24:08

the habits my wife oh, I didn't know at the time I was completely oblivious. It's like a a fish doesn't know it's swimming in water, it's not ever twigged. My wife was a teacher. I'd been married lots of years, but the first 10 years a good 10 years of our married life, the ritual was we'd get home from work and we'd spend half an hour, maybe a bit longer bragging about who's had the worst day. It was like some sort of competition. So I'd say to my I was teaching today. Oh, it's not teaching, it's crowd control. They're a nightmare. The kids, you can't control them. Mobile phones they're trying to look down my top, they're not listening to me. I'm waiting for half past three and the bell's gone. I'm like, oh, another day gone. When can I retire? And like, after about six months I became immune. I stopped listening and all I was doing is waiting for my go. So as soon as she paused her breath, I'd jump in. Oh, you think your day's been bad. Let me tell you how bad my day's been.

Speaker 2

24:58

And our culture, our habit, our learned behavior was we would get home and share the worst bits of our day. My wife must have thought I hated my job but I loved it. But I was just saving the 5% that I didn't like for her, saving the five percent that I didn't like for her. I wasn't telling her the 95 that I loved, and that that's not just me. That's how families up and down the country go. How was your day rolling their eyes on? Actually a lot of it. A lot of your day is really good if you can train your brain to spot it. And most people don't, like I say our default position is to look for the bad and then talking about training your brain.

Speaker 1

25:30

how can we then then reprogram and change our mental habits to really, I suppose, pursue those goals that you were talking about? Yeah, yeah, well, do you know what I?

Speaker 2

25:39

mean a lot of the. I guess the biggest challenge I've had with my PhD is trying to make it sound clever. You know when you're playing the academic game and you've got to write 100,000 words and it's got to pass the academic test, so you wrap yourself up in academic nonsense. And my challenge has been to do that because if you study happy people, they're not doing anything really clever. One of the reasons they're happy is they've got it's quite simple one of the biggest, one of the biggest things, that, in fact, the biggest thing that they do that differentiates really upbeat from downbeat people is a conscious and deliberate choice to have a positive approach.

Speaker 2

26:16

I describe it like bob the builder if you if you ever watch bob the builder yes, proper positive because he's like can we fix it? Yes, we can. Kind of thing about bob is that he's got the same tools in his tool belt and he's been to the same college as all the other builders. He's got the same qualifications. But what marks bob out as being awesome is what's in his head is his attitude and the first time I ever watched bob the builder right.

Speaker 2

26:38

One of his team had tarmac to his van keys underneath the new driveway. Now if that was me, mate, I'd be livid, somebody'd get sacked for that. But bob's like can we fix it? And crucially, is his team are shouting back yes, we can. So he's got some sort of empowered team. And if you ever watch Bob the Builder he's an absolute joy and inspiration because he's learned that he can't control the situation. He can't control the fact his keys are under the tarmac, but he can control how he chooses to feel about that.

Speaker 2

27:10

And that choice I know it seems obvious, but an attitudinal choice every single day makes a huge difference. It's not a guarantee you're going to have a great day, but it starts you off with the expectation that you know what I'm going to be my best self today. And that doesn't mean the sun's going to shine. It doesn't mean the traffic's going to go away, but it puts you in a better position to deal when the sun doesn't shine and the traffic's bad and the other.

Speaker 2

27:32

The other thing before we do another one is is actually that choice requires an effort? It's easier just to roll out of bed and slump into work and grumble and muggle. And because it's so easy to be a mood hoover, it's so easy to join in with the general hubbub of mediocrity that's cracking off in this country. Then, actually being your best self and consciously, deliberately choosing to be upbeat, inspired, bright, enthusiastic, passionate and positive, they're harder choices to make. It requires effort and it requires energy. And because it's a bit harder to be your best self, most people just can't be bothered and they give. They give up, even trying after a while. So the choice and effort are really big deals. I know it sounds simple deals.

Speaker 1

28:17

I know it sounds simple, but that's research is proving. I can prove that, mate. No, I bet, and it makes sense to me. And because you make a choice to be unhappy, so why can it not be converse on the other side of things?

Speaker 2

28:24

and all the other stuff that these happy people do is stuff we've alluded to. They. They set huge goals, they play to their strengths. They have that a positive, contagious impact. So they understand that. They know that when, if I'm having a good day, I'm going to inspire my kids, my wife, my family, my, my work colleagues, my customers. They because they kind of intuitively understand that that gives them more of an impetus to do it, because most people think it doesn't matter, or doesn't matter if I have a bad day.

Speaker 1

28:49

Yes, it does and that analogy actually that you used, andy, that bob the builder analogy that I like, that one and yeah, I do watch because I've got children so you're always watching it what's the best way, I suppose, to deal with? How does bob deal with those people around him in those situations, those unhappy situations? Do you know what?

Speaker 2

29:11

I a couple of years ago, I would have given you some sort of withering, corporate answer on that and I would have said, oh, you can take them head on. But I would say and I don't want to sound like it's sidestepping the issue, because this is my best understanding of that question is your question is basically how can we make other people happy? How can we deal with mood hoovers around us? And I would say, say, hand on heart, that I don't know the answer to that. All I would say is my research is not about other people, it's about us, it's about you as an individual and my research shows if you are consistently as being positive and your best self and it's not always appropriate to be or being positive, so sometimes you can have a bad day but if you can put an effort into learning to be an inspired human being, then other people around you will naturally feel better in your presence.

Speaker 2

30:00

So the neckheads, the mood hoovers will. You won't win them all, but they will genuinely be uplifted when you're around. Now, it's not an exact science. Sometimes you get it wrong. If you're too happy, you'll irritate them, but if you get get it right, then it becomes actually quite a life force for other people. That sounds really over the top, but it's true. You become somebody who breathes life into your team at work. You become somebody who breathes life into your family when you get home from work.

Speaker 2

30:27

So, instead of going home from work and asking your kids how was your day? How was school? They'll go. It was boring. What did you learn? I can't remember. So if that's not getting a result, you need to point the finger back at yourself and change you. So I started going home and saying to my kids how was your day? Was it good, fantastic or brilliant? What was the highlight of your day? And that slight change in me, that slight different question, gives me a better chance. It's not a guarantee, but it gives me a better chance of getting my kids to come up with oh well, the highlight, dad, was this and off we go on a positive conversation. So it's little things like that. Is tackling negativity by being your best self first. That makes sense.

Speaker 2

31:03

I don't want to sound like a cop out. I hope it's not.

Speaker 1

31:05

It's not, not at all. No, it makes sense to me and I think, um, you talk about two percenters as well, don't you?

Speaker 2

31:10

yeah, yeah, well these are the ones I've been studying. Yeah, I call them two percenters. Are well, don't you? Yeah, well, these are the ones I've been studying. Yeah, I call them two percenters.

Speaker 1

31:14

Are these the people that are affecting those around them to make them?

Speaker 2

31:17

Yeah, these are basically in any organization, it's the top two percent of people who are making others feel good. It's the upper echelons of inspiring people. There's a guy called David Taylor you need to get him on here, mate. He's done the Naked Leader series best books ever and he talks about some sort of quote like your job as a leader is not to inspire people. I'm going really, I'm sure it is. No, he says your job is to be inspired. I think that's lovely because that's true. If you're inspired first, the world will look after itself. Don't worry about it too much. If you can be the best dad in the world, yeah, your kids will look at you and they will start to twig.

Speaker 2

31:56

What normal is for normal if it's positive and upbeat and vibrant and confident. Your, your children, won't do what you say, alex, you've noticed that already but they will do what you do. So the biggest thing you will ever do is role model positivity and being your best self. That's that's. It passes through the generations. There's generations of families that are mood hoovers. It's been passed down through. The kids have learned it from the parents. So we've got a chance here to reset what is normal, to come out fighting, so to speak.

Speaker 1

32:24

I've got to say there are a few mood hoovers in my family and it's been difficult to break that cycle myself. So you know I hear that Okay, okay, but you've done it, man. You've done it through a little bit of effort.

Speaker 2

32:34

You didn't, you know. You've set your business, you've, you've. You've set a huge goal. By the sounds of it, you're playing to your strengths. Everything I'm talking about. You're like nodding because it sounds obvious. But if it was obvious and easy, everybody'd be doing it. And they're not, and they're not. So this is why these kind of messages need to get out there.

Speaker 1

32:49

Brilliant andy, it's 10, 45 spot.

Speaker 2

32:52

Okay, mate, okay right, we'll have to leave it at that. Can I just say a massive thank you, alex, for for having me on uh, and I hope that uh, everybody listening to this, watching to this, watching this, will put a modicum of effort into being their best self and let's not fall into that sixth sense of. I see dead people.

Speaker 1

33:09

Let's see alive people wonderful, andy, thanks for for being on here and uh, we'll look out for your books. You've got a series of books as well, and series of uh, we've got the art of being brilliant, being brilliant every day.

Speaker 1

33:19

We've even got the art of being a brilliant teenager for those who need it the most well, what I'll do is I'll link to those below, and I recommend highly that everybody at least checks out, uh, the website and the books and um, thanks again, andy. So much cheers, thanks a lot. See ya, bye-bye, see ya. So that was andy cope for you from the art of brilliance. I hope you enjoyed that. And he's just given us a, a few ideas how we can, you know, begin to turn things around, to think a little bit more positively, because that is required when, when it comes to working remotely, you have to find ways and means of of, you know, really getting your mind in the right sort of frame of mind in many ways and, like I said, he's given us just a few tips there. There's obviously a lot more things that we can do. I think one of the things that really works for me is by really understanding the goals that you want to set, and andy alluded to this during the. By really understanding the goals that you want to set and Andy alluded to this during the actual session understanding your goals and setting goals that are realistic but obviously, goals that can be quite, quite ambitious at times. You can set quite ambitious goals for yourself at times as well, but understand the actual steps that it takes in order for you to reach those goals. You know, and I think it just it's not about sort of uh really sort of thinking about and lingering on reaching that particular goal. It's actually the milestones in between each goal and you should celebrate those milestones in between each goal and don't just look out and just sort of be hard on yourself if you don't reach that, that, that bigger goal, uh more quickly than you'd like. Don't of be hard on yourself if you don't reach that, that, that bigger goal, more quickly than you'd like. Don't be too hard on yourself, because that as well can have an impact on your frame of mind. But, as I said, I really hope that's helped you. Uh, look out for the next session because I'll be interviewing suzanna hallinan.

Speaker 1

35:08

Suzanna hallinan was somebody else I interviewed during the careers with purpose summit and for the Remote Work Life Summit, and she talks about another thing that we we often sort of put at the forefront of our minds when we're looking to achieve our goals, and that is understanding your, your passion. And it's important to have a passion and, sorry, it's important at least to understand where your passions lie, because if you can identify passions that you can really focus on and really that you're really passionate about, then you're more likely to sort of see see things through from the beginning to the end, see things through from the start to the end, and I think Susanna has a really a really good and really sort of unique take on passions and how we should go about finding our passions, and it's something that perhaps is a little closer to home than you might think. So I'd really sort of recommend that you listen out for the next remote work life podcast and please also subscribe so that you don't miss another episode, and let me know what you think. Let me know what you think so far, tell me who you'd like me to interview and please leave a comment at the end. Doing that, I really appreciate, appreciate your feedback, and it's also good to know that you know there's other people out there who are actually listening to the stuff that I'm putting out. So I hope it's helping you. If it's not, let me know. If it is, let me know and subscribe to the podcast and I hope to see you soon.

Speaker 1

36:36

Have a look at remoteworklifeio for more interviews as well. As I said coming up and the interviews that we did previously. I previously done interviews with Nick Fantis, who's the CEO of Help Scout. He talked about culture and understanding culture and how to survive in a remote world. I've also done interviews with Michelle Dale, who is a seven-figure CEO and digital nomad who's built things up from, you know, from the ground up, with her own hands. So look out for those interviews, those previous interviews that I did as well, and look out for up-and-coming interviews that I do in the future. Until next time, you know all the best, stay safe and I will speak to you soon.